Excellent work from McSweeney’s, courtesy Ryan Abbott’s Miles Davis’s Container Gardening Tips.
2. Play music to your plants
Music heals all wounds except those inflicted by a hunting knife, so I like to play music to my plants. What do I play? People stop me on the street to ask me that all the time. What’s my answer? Usually it’s, “Leave me alone and go buy my albums,” or a variation thereof.